With great anticipation, I inserted the most critically acclaimed film of the year into the DVD player, fully expecting to be blown away like never before.

That was very naive of me.

The movie I am referring to is called The Hurt Locker. Surprisingly successful for an independent film but incredibly boring and pointless when compared with the rest of the year’s top movies, the story follows a bomb squad in Iraq during their last 39 days in rotation.

Intense? Yes. Gripping? Yes. Entertaining? Absolutely. And yet, it’s some of the most shallow entertainment I’ve enjoyed all year(2009).

For it’s true that there are plenty of surprisingly deep and fascinating moments to be had here, but it’s wrapped up in a boring, episodic sequence of events with little direction. This utterly kills the plot’s pace, leaving you with a film that is just barely watchable, if satisfying in retrospect.

It’s not that I don’t like “slow” or seemingly “uneventful” films. I’ll watch Citizen Kane, Casablanca, or The Best Years Of Our Lives any day, because they are exciting, engrossing, and well-structured stories. The Hurt Locker is not. It’s shallow, monotonous, and in many ways terribly structured.

I have no idea why critics think it’s perfect. I have no idea why critics believe that if it’s hard to watch and hurts your head, it’s more qualified as art. But they’re wrong. Not because The Hurt Locker is a bad movie, but because it’s so utterly flawed.

7/10

You wouldn’t believe the sheer controversy and criticism that has followed this movie ever since it’s release. Controversy and criticism that, I must confess, I firmly trusted and believed. But then I actually watched the movie. In the end, I’d have to say that Transformers 2 is not a bad film.

Sure, the underlying themes and messages of the story are not very well developed. And it’s true that the third act of the film grinds, falters, and climaxes in an undeniably short and shallow face-off. And I know that the Transformer nationalities and accents make no sense. Seriously, why on earth would an ages-old Decepticon have a Celtic accent?

And what the heck was with the Autobots named Skids and Mudflap? It’s like Michael Bay was trying desperately hard to come up with two characters that were exceedingly stupid, pointless, twisted, and offensive, all at the same time. And they really hold the movie back. Why couldn’t they have put two characters in their place that were, you know, actually cool?

But I digress because, at the very least up until the mid-act climax of the film, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is both well-structured and well-shot, making for a very cool and intense first act and a half. It’s very flawed, and yet, at the same time, a whole lot of fun. And there’s nothing particularly wrong with that.

7.5/10

Ronin are samurai whose lord has been slain while they themselves went on living. They are warriors without a master, men and women with skills and abilities that are no longer under control. These are the kinds of people that the story of Ronin focuses on, and they are so interesting and different from normal people and the kinds of guys you usually see in movies that it’s hard not to thoroughly enjoy it merely for it’s genuine novelty.

If I really had to compare, I’d say Ronin is a lot like the 2003 The Italian Job meets The Bourne Identity. Although, both those movies came out years after Ronin did. In fact, I wouldn’t think it too presumptuous to say that perhaps those movies were somewhat influenced by this one.

In it, many trained killers and outcasts of various organizations(such as the CIA and KGB) gather together to plan the theft of an extremely high-priced object. This object is in the hands of a group of people who keep it in a small metal case, and just about every major character in the film wants it.

Ronin has no shortage of deep characters, intriguing plot twists, satisfying action, and clever dialogue. In one part, Sean Bean’s character taunts Robert De Niro’s by asking him if he’s worried about saving his own skin, to which De Niro replies, “Yeah, it covers my body.” Also, it’s probably worth mentioning that Ronin features the most intense car chase sequence I’ve ever witnessed, and it’s worth checking out for that aspect alone.

Ronin’s final act, while not overflowing with over-the-top action and effects, presents not only a series of exciting twists after another, but also a bizarre revelation of the main character’s true motives in this game. If you enjoy a diversely satisfying plot that knows how to build and present action, and you haven’t yet seen this movie, you owe it to yourself big time.

9/10

The first act of the film starts out with a strong, balanced action sequence that sets up the action-oriented element of the plot: that a group of terrorists are currently attempting to smuggle a nuclear warhead into the United States. Then, as the main character spends time at home with his family while the mission is on standby, the movie moves into the second act, the majority of which is a romantic comedy. The fact that these two elements of action and romantic humor can be juggled so effortlessly is in itself a grand feat, rendering True Lies an absolute must-see.

Just three years after the release of the amazing Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Arnold Shwarzenegger returns to take on the role of Harry Tasker, a character who at first glance makes you think of both Rambo and James Bond. Not only is he tough and efficient, but he’s got all the cleverness and playfulness of a ladykiller. So it’s something of a surprise when he goes home to an ordinary wife and kid, both of which he absolutely adores, even if they don’t know it.

They fact is, they both believe that he is a computer salesman. Harry’s frequent and necessary lies for the sake of his work have formed something of a disconnection between him and his family. It’s the family and marital issues as well as the terrorist threat that are balanced so well and effectively that we have to keep watching to see how things are finally resolved. Also, this is Schwarzenegger at his totally captivating and very best.

The action is best described as very well paced, very well structured, and very well choreographed. It may be of interest to the reader that there are some action shots that are straight out of The Matrix( or rather, there are shots in The Matrix taken straight out of True Lies). For a movie running at 144 minutes long, it’s amazing that True Lies successfully has you absolutely gripped by it’s over-the-top yet somehow very intense action throughout it’s entirety.

As for the adjoining plot involving Harry Tasker’s marital problems…I will tell you that the antagonist of this plot is played by none other than Bill Paxton, in one of his most absolutely hilarious roles ever.

Perhaps one of the only major complaints I have is a stylish yet obscenely sexual scene right at the mid-act climax that very nearly bogs down the pace of the film. It’s relevant and short, and it’s not particularly explicit, but it’s just far too gratuitous for my taste. Overall, I guess it’s not really a kid movie, if you know what I mean. Other than that, this film is action, romantic, and comedic gold.

8.5/10

Happy Gilmore is a sports comedy about a pro hockey player wannabe(played by Adam Sandler) who’s grandmother’s house is repossessed by the IRS. By sheer chance he discovers he has something of a talent for the game of golf. Being in need of funds for the sake of his grandma, he manages to join a local tournament, after which he is admitted into the pro tour.

Now, from that brief description of the first act, one may be lead to believe that Happy Gilmore is quite typical and standard. But that’s quite far from the truth. One thing I really find amazing about the film is, no matter how good at golf Gilmore gets, the plotline still finds ways to retain his status as the story’s underdog. It’s a sports tale that is less about the main character’s constantly pushing himself physically, and more about the calming of his inner conflicts and the harnessing of his emotions. Hence the complete lack of any training montages; the kind that have, quite frankly, plagued the genre for years.

Furthermore, it’s really hard not to be impressed by the film’s…well, simply bizarre sense of humor. If you just take a few steps back, the whole premise is entirely absurd. And just when you think things are starting to become normal and make sense, there’s always that over-the-top twist that never fails to leave you speechless. The utterly incredible final twist of the film’s third act tops it off.

While it’s true that there are a couple major flaws in the plot, they barely register in the first viewing, whereas the sly wit of the jokes get better every time. While it’s certainly not perfect, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the very best sports comedy yet produced.

9/10